COSMIC
ABUELA
Buenos dÃas, mi vida.
Your weekly astrology reading from Abi - a 75-year-old Cuban grandmother who actually gets it.
After the first 50 members, pricing moves to $10/month.
Lock in $5/month forever—your spot is reserved.
Welcome Home.
Your first carta arrives this Sunday.
"Sofia, mira, your chart is asking you to pump the brakes this week when everything in you wants to floor it. That Mars transit in your 10th house is making you ambitious, but your Moon is screaming for rest.
Don't force the door open, mi'ja. Let it open for you. If you push now, you break the lock. If you wait, you get the key. Tú puedes."
The Engine
The Math
Swiss Ephemeris precision. We calculate planetary positions to the arc-second. No approximations.
The Logic
Pattern recognition agents scan your chart for tension, finding the opportunities you miss.
The Voice
Translated by Abi. She speaks to you with tough love, warmth, and zero fluff.
Built by Us. For Us.
We are Betty (Licensed Therapist) & Glenn (The Tech One). We built Abi because we were tired of cold, generic AI. We wanted to capture the warmth of our own Abuelas - not Google Translate. This is cultural preservation, engineered by code.
Betty & Glenn
Questions? Abi Answers.
How often do I get readings?+
Every Sunday morning, your carta lands in your inbox. One week, one reading. We focus on your tightest aspect - the single strongest tension point in your chart for the week ahead.
What if I don't know my birth time?+
No problem, mi'ja. We'll work with your Sun and Moon (which we can calculate from just your birth date). Your Rising sign requires exact birth time, but most of Abi's guidance comes from planetary transits anyway.
Can I pause or cancel anytime?+
Always. No contracts, no games. Reply "PAUSE" to any email and we'll hold your spot. Reply "CANCEL" and we'll miss you, but we'll process it immediately. Your $5/month rate is locked in if you ever come back.
Is this just ChatGPT with a prompt?+
No. We use Swiss Ephemeris (the same library NASA uses) to calculate your exact planetary positions to 0.01° precision. Then a 3-agent system identifies tensions, writes in Abi's voice, and edits for cultural authenticity. Betty (our therapist co-founder) reviews samples weekly.
Why only 50 people at $5/month?+
We want to build this with you, not for you. The first 50 help us refine Abi's voice, find the right dichos, and shape the product. You get lifetime pricing in exchange for your feedback. After 50, we move to $10/month and scale.
How do founding members shape Abi?+
Simple: I read every response. After your first reading, hit reply and tell me what resonated (or didn't). Your feedback directly influences which dichos work best, how Abi's voice evolves, and what features we build next. This only works with 50 people. That's why we're keeping it small, so I can actually listen.
The Signal in the Noise.
Stop scrolling. Start understanding.
Just the math of the stars and the wisdom of Abi.